In this Great Turning we all RISE UP together. Yes, some people will die. This is natural. Loved ones who choose to 'check out' provide additional soul matter to fuel the expansion of the remaining souls. When a living soul heals its wounds and grows from 3D to 5D, it is not without the taking in of recently departed souls. You may choose to be a walking heaven for your dearly departed.
Here is the example from one of my children. As she healed her local self, her energies turned and began to attend to matters larger than her self. As her interest expanded, her service expanded, and as she released each remaining wound, her consciousness did expand as well.
Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It is thus with soul. There is but One Soul and the light of soul is cast into a vast kaliedescope of brilliant individual containers. In some eras, Father and I turn the the kaliedescope one click and the light of Soul is cast into a smaller number of containers, yet each container is itself larger - reflecting much more light of the One Soul.
Ego is the shape and color of each facet of the kaleidescopic light of the One Soul.
As my child's consciousness expanded, she herself was not unlike a larger facet in the kaliedescope. She had a very physical integration/expansion experience one evening, with the assistance of a very trusting massage therapist. My child had the sense that her maternal grandparents had been near for some time. In the course of her own healing she discovered and understood that the grandparents felt responsible for some of her woundedness. You see, once departed, the grandparents could percieve the impacts of their choices rippling out through the next two generations. They were lurking about watching because they felt responsible and they were invested in the outcomes.
My child gained the consent of the massage therapist and then proceeded to forgive her grandparents, out loud. She addressed them by name and explained to them all she knew and understood about thier choices and the outcomes which had rippled out for two generations hence.
Then my child validated her grandparents. She explained that she understood the values and concerns which had driven the choices and the actions of the grandparents. She understood that they did the best they knew how and that they always acted from love.The grandparents felt such relief. My child was sobbing tears of joy. So was the massage therapist, who had been massaging my child all the while and listening to the conversation. What happened next was a surprise to my child.I whispered to her that now her grandparents could finally go to rest, if they liked. She spoke this to her grandparents on my behalf. They agreed that they wanted to go to rest. I spoke through my child and asked the grandparents where they wanted to rest. My child heard them answer. They wanted to merge their soul into her waking soul. They wanted to fuel the expansion of her consciousness and in return feel earthly delights, watch the new babies grow, etc.
My child wept as she understood, accepted, and then felt the energy of her grandparents enter into her. They are within her now and they remain a semblance of their former imprint while playing an active contribution to my child's daily experience. My child experiences her expanded soul as self, though she also remembers and recognizes subtle nuances of her grand parents. Particularly when she's engaging with their daughter, who still lives.
This type of soul integration requires agreement on the part of both the living and the deceased. This is happening frequently as we are in the part of the cycle when Father and I turn the kaliedescope and see an overall reduction in the number of individuals with a combined increase in the soul energy of each one. You might view this as merging with your higher self. You may have already had the sense that you are part of a soul family. What you experience as your one higher self may have been the equal value of 12 souls in the dark ages or of 1 soul in Atlantis. Multiple people believe themselves to have been someone famos. Well, the soul energy is so fragmented at the present that there is some truth to this. It takes approximately 777 living 3d humans to add up to the soul energy of one Da Vinci. In the ascention, forms of all kinds recede back into the ethers so that new forms may emerge. The new human has greater faculties and co-creates greater facilities and technologies. Any questions? ♥ Mama
Showing posts with label personal transformation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal transformation. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Enlightened Planetary Interest
The most prominent economic theorist of the previous age, Adam Smith, theorized that every consumer would act under his or her own best interest both in earning as well as spending money. It was called Enlightened Self Interest.
It is this concept which led to the inception of corporation: an immoral entity, which if considered an individual, would qualify as a psychopath. It was only too easy for the elite capitalists at the helm in large corporations to become exceedingly wealthy with little to no awareness of the environmental and social costs of doing business.
There is a great imbalance in the planetary distribution of wealth. The poorest island and coastal African nations stand to be submerged in as soon as 50 years. The world is still plagued with slavery, extortion, child labor, sweat shops, etc. And all based on this economic theory of Enlightened Self Interest.
But lately there is so much disruption and dismay that people are looking beyond the needs of themselves or their immediate family. People in struggle have awakened to the need to help their neighbors and become active in their communities. It is the emergence of a higer order economy: Enlightened Planetary Interest.
The desire to survive has awakened the possibility of peace and planetary cooperation. Millions of individuals and groups are stepping up to create Reality 2.0. Each one is focused first on self healing and next on service to The Greater Good. And part and parcel of the peace is radical acceptance of diversity. People will celebrate one antoher's cultures and religious perspectives. We'll understand the kaliedescopic nature of creation and manifestation. We'll appreciate those who appear to be very different from ourselves.
In times of great change, a coalition of determined visionaries leads the emergence of an entirely new order, a new way of being. At this time that new way is characterized by awareness of the delicate interconnections of all life. Welcome to the age of Enlightened Planetary Interest. Welcome to the Dawn of Gaia Consciousness.
It is this concept which led to the inception of corporation: an immoral entity, which if considered an individual, would qualify as a psychopath. It was only too easy for the elite capitalists at the helm in large corporations to become exceedingly wealthy with little to no awareness of the environmental and social costs of doing business.
There is a great imbalance in the planetary distribution of wealth. The poorest island and coastal African nations stand to be submerged in as soon as 50 years. The world is still plagued with slavery, extortion, child labor, sweat shops, etc. And all based on this economic theory of Enlightened Self Interest.
But lately there is so much disruption and dismay that people are looking beyond the needs of themselves or their immediate family. People in struggle have awakened to the need to help their neighbors and become active in their communities. It is the emergence of a higer order economy: Enlightened Planetary Interest.
The desire to survive has awakened the possibility of peace and planetary cooperation. Millions of individuals and groups are stepping up to create Reality 2.0. Each one is focused first on self healing and next on service to The Greater Good. And part and parcel of the peace is radical acceptance of diversity. People will celebrate one antoher's cultures and religious perspectives. We'll understand the kaliedescopic nature of creation and manifestation. We'll appreciate those who appear to be very different from ourselves.
In times of great change, a coalition of determined visionaries leads the emergence of an entirely new order, a new way of being. At this time that new way is characterized by awareness of the delicate interconnections of all life. Welcome to the age of Enlightened Planetary Interest. Welcome to the Dawn of Gaia Consciousness.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Layers of Consciousness and the Local Self
Pain and discomfort in the Local Self interrupts your blissful connection to your Higher Self. This sparks a spiral pattern in which the Local Self engages in self healing in order to reconnect with the infinite love of the Higher Self.
Your primary operating consciousness from child hood is the Local Self. My local self was born in 1975 under the name of Toni. Beyond the local self, and seperated by a veil for most of us, is the Higher Self. I think of my higher self as Mama Tree. In my teens I had a sense of some future version of myself which was offering loving support and guidance from beyond. In my early twenties I experienced a dawning of consciousness in which my perception took a developmental leap.
During that phase there were periods in which my consicousness expanded to that of Higher Self. You could say that for some brief periods I merged with my higher self. Many people refer to these as peak moments. Each peak moment, however brief, was pure bliss and peace. Each peak moment cleansed and healed me in such a deep way that I became hooked and began to seek these moments of enlightenment as often as possible.
As I aged I moved from having moments of being one with Higher Self to having phases of being one with Higher Self. The longer I inhabited and embodied the Higher Self in a particular phase, the more I learned about what it takes to sustain that level of consciousness. Perhaps the most important insight is that my body is a vessel and the experience of Higher Self is a powerful river of energy flowing through my vessel. In order to contain that energy for any length of time I had to purify that vessel.
Here's a plain example. When I embody the full energy of Higher Self, all sensation includes with it a direct knowledge. When I felt a tummy ache I became aware of how there were certain foods which were no longer appropriate for my body. Then the tummy ache "knocked" me out of oneness with the Higher Self because the physical pain was a Local Self issue which demanded attention and repair. Figuring out how to resolve my digestive issues was necessary in order to again merge with Higher Self.
The phases of merging with Higher Self each brought an opportunity for healing and cleansing the vessel - my body - so that the river of energy could flow through me again for a time. Each time I discovered an illness or injury I lost the Higher Self connection. It was depressing and painful because Higher Self is bathed in a sea of love. But that depression and pain propelled me into healing and recovery, and the carrot at the end of that stick is that each time I heal a wound I am again reunited with the full embodiment of my Higher Self.
It is a spiral shaped growth. I wrote about that in my book, The Transpiral Model for Social Change, which is in bad need of a revision because since writing it I've understood so much more about it!
Lately my local self is struggling in learning and adapting to a new level in my career. During the struggle, I do not embody the Higher Self. That is, I don't feel like I am large and blissful and connected to the ALL. Instead I feel really crummy and stressed.
The interesting thing is that even though I cannot embody the Higher Self, I can still connect with her perspective and engage in an internal dialogue in which I ask for and receive guidance. AND thankfully, even in my pain I can connect with Gaia's voice and continue to do the service of updating her Facebook status posts.
Here's an example from this morning. My local self writes:
I read yesterday on a church sign that "Success is often disguised as hard work." And since I'm exhausted and about to work overtime on a Sunday, I've decided: "TO HELL WITH SUCCESS!" I want to retire!
and
[Toni] is sooooo tired and overwhelmed. I feel like I've been running a race and there's no one to pass the baton to. When will it be my turn to rest?
But when I changed profiles, logged into Facebook as Gaia Rising, and connected with HER, this is the status post which comes through:
All of the challenges we face today can be transcended by simply expanding our consciousness. If your local self is struggling, gently expand to fill the space of higher self. From this vantage point, the struggle of the local self is diminushed by the infinite sea of love in which the higher self is bathed. ♥ Mama
To me, this proves that I'm still connected to the divine no matter how shitty I feel. Some days I feel like a Goddess, but most days I'm just a Newby with a life line to Goddess. And I am one grateful Newby because no matter how shitty I feel, SHE still loves me enough to talk directly to me and through me. What a gift!
With love, Toni
Your primary operating consciousness from child hood is the Local Self. My local self was born in 1975 under the name of Toni. Beyond the local self, and seperated by a veil for most of us, is the Higher Self. I think of my higher self as Mama Tree. In my teens I had a sense of some future version of myself which was offering loving support and guidance from beyond. In my early twenties I experienced a dawning of consciousness in which my perception took a developmental leap.
During that phase there were periods in which my consicousness expanded to that of Higher Self. You could say that for some brief periods I merged with my higher self. Many people refer to these as peak moments. Each peak moment, however brief, was pure bliss and peace. Each peak moment cleansed and healed me in such a deep way that I became hooked and began to seek these moments of enlightenment as often as possible.
As I aged I moved from having moments of being one with Higher Self to having phases of being one with Higher Self. The longer I inhabited and embodied the Higher Self in a particular phase, the more I learned about what it takes to sustain that level of consciousness. Perhaps the most important insight is that my body is a vessel and the experience of Higher Self is a powerful river of energy flowing through my vessel. In order to contain that energy for any length of time I had to purify that vessel.
Here's a plain example. When I embody the full energy of Higher Self, all sensation includes with it a direct knowledge. When I felt a tummy ache I became aware of how there were certain foods which were no longer appropriate for my body. Then the tummy ache "knocked" me out of oneness with the Higher Self because the physical pain was a Local Self issue which demanded attention and repair. Figuring out how to resolve my digestive issues was necessary in order to again merge with Higher Self.
The phases of merging with Higher Self each brought an opportunity for healing and cleansing the vessel - my body - so that the river of energy could flow through me again for a time. Each time I discovered an illness or injury I lost the Higher Self connection. It was depressing and painful because Higher Self is bathed in a sea of love. But that depression and pain propelled me into healing and recovery, and the carrot at the end of that stick is that each time I heal a wound I am again reunited with the full embodiment of my Higher Self.
It is a spiral shaped growth. I wrote about that in my book, The Transpiral Model for Social Change, which is in bad need of a revision because since writing it I've understood so much more about it!
Lately my local self is struggling in learning and adapting to a new level in my career. During the struggle, I do not embody the Higher Self. That is, I don't feel like I am large and blissful and connected to the ALL. Instead I feel really crummy and stressed.
The interesting thing is that even though I cannot embody the Higher Self, I can still connect with her perspective and engage in an internal dialogue in which I ask for and receive guidance. AND thankfully, even in my pain I can connect with Gaia's voice and continue to do the service of updating her Facebook status posts.
Here's an example from this morning. My local self writes:
I read yesterday on a church sign that "Success is often disguised as hard work." And since I'm exhausted and about to work overtime on a Sunday, I've decided: "TO HELL WITH SUCCESS!" I want to retire!
and
[Toni] is sooooo tired and overwhelmed. I feel like I've been running a race and there's no one to pass the baton to. When will it be my turn to rest?
But when I changed profiles, logged into Facebook as Gaia Rising, and connected with HER, this is the status post which comes through:
All of the challenges we face today can be transcended by simply expanding our consciousness. If your local self is struggling, gently expand to fill the space of higher self. From this vantage point, the struggle of the local self is diminushed by the infinite sea of love in which the higher self is bathed. ♥ Mama
To me, this proves that I'm still connected to the divine no matter how shitty I feel. Some days I feel like a Goddess, but most days I'm just a Newby with a life line to Goddess. And I am one grateful Newby because no matter how shitty I feel, SHE still loves me enough to talk directly to me and through me. What a gift!
With love, Toni
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Pre-healing Funk
When you choose to consciously co-create your life with Spirit and Nature, your daily dialogue with your guides will produce numerous healing opportunities. If you intend to change a thing about your self, then you can bet that it will rear its ugly head just before you transform it.
Let me give you a concrete example. Before releasing the need to control situations in the work place you experience a three day run of observing your self as VERY CONTROLLING. This is not at all fun, we never really like that aspect of ourselves we are trying to change. The good news is that when this behavioral pattern or thought construct is amplified, you can be certain that you are transforming it for the last time.
All you need to do is consciously embrace any challenge which comes into your life. Any bullshit which arrises... say to yourself "thank you for this opportunity to transform another aspect of my self." Then simply watch your emotions and reactions over the next few days. I am certain that after a few days of observation you will have seen and released several habits and thought patterns which were no longer serving you.
My motto is that chaos signals an opportunity. Because I believe it so thoroughly,80% of the time I am able to roll with chaos in real time. The other 20% of the time I struggle for a period and then embrace the chaos, trusting that I was about to reach a higher ground.
Create a list of the things which you'd like to learn or transform about yourself. Imagine that your guides or angels are watching you write the list and are ready to create actions and opportunities to help you manifest these visions. Then watch as the pre-healing funk hits you. As soon as you notice that you are living an amplfied version of that which you sought to transform you will relax into peaceful acceptance.
Namaste
Tree of Terrapin Hollow
Let me give you a concrete example. Before releasing the need to control situations in the work place you experience a three day run of observing your self as VERY CONTROLLING. This is not at all fun, we never really like that aspect of ourselves we are trying to change. The good news is that when this behavioral pattern or thought construct is amplified, you can be certain that you are transforming it for the last time.
All you need to do is consciously embrace any challenge which comes into your life. Any bullshit which arrises... say to yourself "thank you for this opportunity to transform another aspect of my self." Then simply watch your emotions and reactions over the next few days. I am certain that after a few days of observation you will have seen and released several habits and thought patterns which were no longer serving you.
My motto is that chaos signals an opportunity. Because I believe it so thoroughly,80% of the time I am able to roll with chaos in real time. The other 20% of the time I struggle for a period and then embrace the chaos, trusting that I was about to reach a higher ground.
Create a list of the things which you'd like to learn or transform about yourself. Imagine that your guides or angels are watching you write the list and are ready to create actions and opportunities to help you manifest these visions. Then watch as the pre-healing funk hits you. As soon as you notice that you are living an amplfied version of that which you sought to transform you will relax into peaceful acceptance.
Namaste
Tree of Terrapin Hollow
Friday, May 21, 2010
Co-creative Partnerships with the Divine
I think of the divine as both Nature and Spirit. Nature, of course, being all matter including our bodies. And Spirit as something which descends from on high to animate the matter in a divine partnership. As humans, we are like bridges between heaven and earth. Our existence is miraculous.
Over time our views of divinity have changed. For two thousand years the western world thought of God as a parent, both benevolent and wrathful. Today both science and spirituality have led us to the view of being connected to divinity as part of a grand unified field, ever emerging and unfolding.
When you set a clear intention both Nature and Spirit reorder your world in order to deliver that which you expect. If you expect bad news... you get bad news. If you expect abundance, you get abundance. I have seen this time and time. Manifestation is a very popular topic, I don't need to explain it here now. However, what I don't think many folks realize is that it all goes much more smoothly if you engage in conversation with both Nature and Spirit.
I'll tell you how I've done it. I ask to connect with Pan and the Deva of Healing - who represent the Nature side of the partnership. They lead the creation and unfoldment of my physical and energetic bodies. Then I ask to connect to the Council of Light. They are the ascended masters, arch-angels, dieties, etc. I don't connect with all of them at once, we each have our own little team of guides. Lastly I ask to connect to my higher self.
From here I either talk directly to them with my voice, or by writing in my journal. I speak about the things I want to heal or learn. Being able to talk about it demonstrates that we're to work on a thing. Most of the time within two or three days some sort of event or drama occurs in my life which appears to be an amplification of that which I've asked to learn or heal. Sometimes it's a re-enactment of something highly emotional. This is an opportunity to live through an event while making new choices and thereby releasing old karma.
Provided I step through the drama with consciousness and care, it then becomes released and I experience an expansion of consciousness as that energy is cleared and re-integrated into my core.
We can work with Nature and Spirit as frequently or infrequently as we like. I generally have a short list of things that I want to work on. There have been periods of time when I healed and released something just about every week. It was a time of rapid growth and change, and it was positive so I let it roll at that faster pace.
Now, there are multiple ways to experience receiving information from the divine. Some of the ways include free writing, painting, art of any kind, channelling, dreaming, meditation, muscle testing, I-ching, runes, tarot, bibliomancy, etc. I have dabbled with most of these but lately I just experience a direct dialogue. The format that works best for you depends upon your learning style. Consider how you would go about learning a new skill such as knitting. Would you get a book, watch a video, have someone show you, hear about it from a friend, etc. After you identify your top two favorite ways to learn, then apply that to communicating with the divine. My primary learning styles are verbal/auditory, and kinestetic. That means that when I'm on a vision quest I actually don't "see" anything. Rather I hear information and I simply know it by a feeling in my body.
I encourage you to invite your guides, either in the way described above or in your own way. Create some sacred space and make a list of what you'd like to work on. Lie still and let Nature and Spirit do energy work in your body. Journal or engage in some form of communication so that you can gain guidance on how to work through your learning list.
Then hang on and enjoy the ride to wholeness and vibrant loving presence!
Much love,
Tree of Terrapin Hollow
Over time our views of divinity have changed. For two thousand years the western world thought of God as a parent, both benevolent and wrathful. Today both science and spirituality have led us to the view of being connected to divinity as part of a grand unified field, ever emerging and unfolding.
When you set a clear intention both Nature and Spirit reorder your world in order to deliver that which you expect. If you expect bad news... you get bad news. If you expect abundance, you get abundance. I have seen this time and time. Manifestation is a very popular topic, I don't need to explain it here now. However, what I don't think many folks realize is that it all goes much more smoothly if you engage in conversation with both Nature and Spirit.
I'll tell you how I've done it. I ask to connect with Pan and the Deva of Healing - who represent the Nature side of the partnership. They lead the creation and unfoldment of my physical and energetic bodies. Then I ask to connect to the Council of Light. They are the ascended masters, arch-angels, dieties, etc. I don't connect with all of them at once, we each have our own little team of guides. Lastly I ask to connect to my higher self.
From here I either talk directly to them with my voice, or by writing in my journal. I speak about the things I want to heal or learn. Being able to talk about it demonstrates that we're to work on a thing. Most of the time within two or three days some sort of event or drama occurs in my life which appears to be an amplification of that which I've asked to learn or heal. Sometimes it's a re-enactment of something highly emotional. This is an opportunity to live through an event while making new choices and thereby releasing old karma.
Provided I step through the drama with consciousness and care, it then becomes released and I experience an expansion of consciousness as that energy is cleared and re-integrated into my core.
We can work with Nature and Spirit as frequently or infrequently as we like. I generally have a short list of things that I want to work on. There have been periods of time when I healed and released something just about every week. It was a time of rapid growth and change, and it was positive so I let it roll at that faster pace.
Now, there are multiple ways to experience receiving information from the divine. Some of the ways include free writing, painting, art of any kind, channelling, dreaming, meditation, muscle testing, I-ching, runes, tarot, bibliomancy, etc. I have dabbled with most of these but lately I just experience a direct dialogue. The format that works best for you depends upon your learning style. Consider how you would go about learning a new skill such as knitting. Would you get a book, watch a video, have someone show you, hear about it from a friend, etc. After you identify your top two favorite ways to learn, then apply that to communicating with the divine. My primary learning styles are verbal/auditory, and kinestetic. That means that when I'm on a vision quest I actually don't "see" anything. Rather I hear information and I simply know it by a feeling in my body.
I encourage you to invite your guides, either in the way described above or in your own way. Create some sacred space and make a list of what you'd like to work on. Lie still and let Nature and Spirit do energy work in your body. Journal or engage in some form of communication so that you can gain guidance on how to work through your learning list.
Then hang on and enjoy the ride to wholeness and vibrant loving presence!
Much love,
Tree of Terrapin Hollow
Friday, May 7, 2010
The Gift of Service
When we are committed to serving Love and Light we transform not only ourselves but also the world around us. Sandra Ingerman, an accomplished shaman, writes:
In quantum physics, there is a teaching that has meaning for us here: lower frequencies entrain to higher frequencies. In other words, if you choose to live and act, think and speak, emote and express your feelings as a true visionary, you must transfigure yourself so that you exist in your divine light and perfection -- and then it will be effortless to project that experience onto all life. In this way, you as the inspired visionary will help the radiance of life around you to shine strong.
When we seek to be kind and loving to all of creation, we amplify the resonant field of Love and Light. Other souls, especially anyone who is suffering, are attracted to the health and balance created. It's not merely that Light Workers are role models, but rather that we are raising the vibration of the spaces in whcih we dwell. Friends, family, and even strangers can sense the difference.
BE LOVE and LIGHT!
In quantum physics, there is a teaching that has meaning for us here: lower frequencies entrain to higher frequencies. In other words, if you choose to live and act, think and speak, emote and express your feelings as a true visionary, you must transfigure yourself so that you exist in your divine light and perfection -- and then it will be effortless to project that experience onto all life. In this way, you as the inspired visionary will help the radiance of life around you to shine strong.
When we seek to be kind and loving to all of creation, we amplify the resonant field of Love and Light. Other souls, especially anyone who is suffering, are attracted to the health and balance created. It's not merely that Light Workers are role models, but rather that we are raising the vibration of the spaces in whcih we dwell. Friends, family, and even strangers can sense the difference.
BE LOVE and LIGHT!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Fear and Grace
It seems that there are layers upon layers of fear in my path toward enlightenment. I've grown through so many fears and doubts and processing each layer of fear has been such a huge gift. It's a bit like Grace is the sweet gooey center wrapped in a gob stopper of fear.
My process has gone something like this:
My process has gone something like this:
- I notice that I'm fearful or doubtful about something.
- I quietly connect with my guides.
- I name the fear and ask whether it is better to transform it or embrace it.
- I quietly sense the answer and then ask the guides to help me with whichever action was recommended.
Transform It - I transform fear by asking my guides to help me shift it into my heart. I then use my hands to energetically pull the fear from my gut to my heart. Once the fear is in my heart I appreciate my self in as deep a way possible, so that the electromagnetic frequency of my heart will be in the "coherent - positive emotion" range and this shifts my entire vibration to loving coherence from fearful incoherence.
Embrace It - I embrace my fear by wallowing in it for a bit. I choose to amplify and exagerate the feeling so that I can explore it and understand it. This can take several hours or even a few days. It's scary because once I surrender and dive into my fear I feel like it will consume me completely. But here's the really interesting thing... somewhere in the pits of my own despair I find Grace. I find love, light, and healing down in the darkness.
It is this Grace, this sweetness that I long for at all times. This is what drives me to continue to grow and learn. This is what drives me to be deeply present to my fear, my doubt, my anger, or whatever negative emotional experience might come up in the course of every day living. In some ways I think of myself as a warrior, ever on the quest for a new deamon to slay so that I can revel in the healing and release.
Now that I've intellectualized about my fear (thereby Avoiding processing it) for a few paragraphs. Let me begin to embrace my fear by exposing some of it here.
For three consecutive full moons, I spent 3 evenings feeling wakeful and deeply connected with the Divine Mother, Gaia. During these times I had the experience of chatting with her and hearing her responses as words in my mind. (I often have an internal dialogue with my spirit guides - Pan, Michael, and others). During these conversations Gaia asked me to do several things for her, which I have done. Those include starting a Facebook group called Gaia Rising, planning and hosting monthly phone dialogues for Gaia Rising, and the like.
These evenings were fun and magical and made me feel very special. But on another level, and from another view, I was experiencing insomnia. After three days with much too little sleep a person looses the ability to do regular daily activities... like driving a car or going to work. Only I was feeling good and I didn't realize that I was lacking in those capacities until after getting a little bit of a scare. Thankfully there were no car wrecks, no one got hurt, no jobs were lost... but it was scary because for a few hours I felt out of control.
It made me feel a little crazy. It made my husband wonder. And that called up for me the biggest wound from my current life. In 1995 I lost my mind. I was 20 and I delved very deeply into the expansion of my consciousness. I invited and experienced a number of psychic gifts including telepathy, clairvoyance, clairaudience, etc. But I was doing all that in the most unhealthy ways possible. I was not getting enough food, rest, sunshine, or excercise and I was experimenting with substances which altered my biochemistry. For a period of several months I was really confused and unhealthy. For some of those months I was totally flipping mad. I was insane.
Thank Goddess for my parents who put me in a hospital and got me the help I needed. And thank Goddess for the nurse at the hospital who told me that they weren't interested in changing my spirituallity, they just wanted to make sure that I could take care of my basic needs - like food, shelter, clothing, and interacting with regular people in a regular way. And thank Goddess that I told my husband all about this on our very first date and he fell in love with me anyway.
But ever since then I've had a quantum entanglement between spirituality and sanity. I have predicted plane crashes, heard people's thoughts as if they were speaking outloud, and seen beyond that which is considered ordinary. And I've always wanted to possess these abilities... but for some unfortunate reason on several occassions when my psychic abilities have expanded, it has resulted in my appearing to be, temporarily, completely batty.
With the exception of about 5 hours, I've felt solidly sane for the past 15 years. Yet the scar tissue is immensely out of proportion. While I'm certain that I'm sane, I am fearful that additional spiritual growth might result in me appearing to be temporarily insane again. It puts me right to the place of WHAT IFs. What if I really am crazy? What if I lose everything I care about? What if I lose my job and my family and become homeless and smelly?
And then the other side of me weighs in:
How did you imagine this would look? You believe that all people can expand their consciousness and develop higher sense perception. You have invited this exploration into your life, since childhood. You've spent your entire life experimenting with your consciousness. Your favorite conversations are made of these very topics. Which would be scarier? Waking up to realize that we're all growing these abilities, or waking up and realizing that there is no magic at all?
And with no true sense of resolution I prepare to publish this blog post. I notice that it is scary to be authentic and vulnerable. Yet I press 'publish' with deep trust that my guides would not steer me astray by encouraging me to show this aspect of myself to you.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Know Thyself
Nosce te Ipsum
The greater your knowledge and appreciation of your Self, the greater the resilience you have in times of change. Knowing my Self has really saved my ass on more than one occassion. I reckon that the guy who got rich writing "Chicken Soup for the Soul" was just taking excerpts from his own journal... that those were all pieces of advice he'd picked given himself for how be more successful living his life. Or that guy who wrote "Conversations with God," wasn't he also getting to know himself in the presence of God and the reader?
That's probably the appeal for blogging and tweeting and the like. Who doesn't enjoy talking to them Self? And why not learn things in the presence of others? Martin Buber's philosophy was that God only exists between I and thou. According to him, there is no divine if there is no unfolding relationship. So why not have a super healthy relationship with your Self? And if you believe that we are all ONE, then there are billions of different faces of your Self. Like a kaliedescopic funhouse mirror. "I am you and you are me and we are we, come together right now, over me!"
Today I feel compelled to try and distill all the most valuable things I've learned into 5 or less points. The truth of the matter is I'm doing it just for me. I don't think it's selfish to be Self serving on occassion. Especially if you're the kind of person who cares deeply about others and spends lots of time trying to serve and support others.
The greater your knowledge and appreciation of your Self, the greater the resilience you have in times of change. Knowing my Self has really saved my ass on more than one occassion. I reckon that the guy who got rich writing "Chicken Soup for the Soul" was just taking excerpts from his own journal... that those were all pieces of advice he'd picked given himself for how be more successful living his life. Or that guy who wrote "Conversations with God," wasn't he also getting to know himself in the presence of God and the reader?
That's probably the appeal for blogging and tweeting and the like. Who doesn't enjoy talking to them Self? And why not learn things in the presence of others? Martin Buber's philosophy was that God only exists between I and thou. According to him, there is no divine if there is no unfolding relationship. So why not have a super healthy relationship with your Self? And if you believe that we are all ONE, then there are billions of different faces of your Self. Like a kaliedescopic funhouse mirror. "I am you and you are me and we are we, come together right now, over me!"
Today I feel compelled to try and distill all the most valuable things I've learned into 5 or less points. The truth of the matter is I'm doing it just for me. I don't think it's selfish to be Self serving on occassion. Especially if you're the kind of person who cares deeply about others and spends lots of time trying to serve and support others.
- My experience and emotions change in cycles with the moon and the sun seasons. I like it like that.
- My roots run deep. If I get plenty of rest, sunshine, fresh veggies, and fresh air then I can handle just about anything.
- I am vulnerable. Being Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired is feedback which deserves instant self-care. If I'm ever any two of these at the same time I HALT and care for myself.
- The best way to instantly shift a negative emotional experience is to truly feel care or appreciation for someone or something in my life. Facebook has made that really efficient for me!
- All bullshit is an opportunity to grow. Dig in and turn the shit around. It all makes great compost! Can't grow without it!
There's another thing that I can't seem to boil down to a pithy little statement. It has to do with being real and trusting other people. There are months in the spring and summer when I feel deeply serene and my capacity to love and care for others is really expansive. In fall I'm feeling a natural contraction and movement inward. And then sometime every winter I feel lousy and fragile. Sometimes I am afraid to admit it because maybe the people who love the leafy green summer tree will think the scraggly winter tree is ugly or even broken. But thankfully I've been through this winter thing 35 times and I've figured out that it is okay to be a real person. Hell, it's better than okay because most of the time the people who love leafy green summer trees can appreciate that seasons change and some of them actually enjoy being able to nurture and support a scraggly and wind blown nekked winter tree!
It takes a village to raise a child. A tree needs the whole universe... earth, wind, sunlight, water, moonlight, gardeners, apple-eaters, aphids, worms, termites, owls, bullshit, and even a LOGGER and a CARPENTER now and then!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
No More Bricks in the Wall
Lastnight I wrote about some of my growing pains and I finished the entry with these words:
In love I pull out the bricks and begin to build a new wall
In fear I restrict that which seeks to grow through me
And something inside of me dies.
I'm happy to report that moments after writing that my beloved and I had a long and loving conversation. Without betraying him or the moment, let me simply say that he is showing up in our relationship in an entirely new, healthy, and beautiful way.
He dismantles walls and shows each brick
We examine them together
He scapes a beautiful garden wall
We compost and gently turn the soil
And trust that LOVE grows on.
In love I pull out the bricks and begin to build a new wall
In fear I restrict that which seeks to grow through me
And something inside of me dies.
I'm happy to report that moments after writing that my beloved and I had a long and loving conversation. Without betraying him or the moment, let me simply say that he is showing up in our relationship in an entirely new, healthy, and beautiful way.
He dismantles walls and shows each brick
We examine them together
He scapes a beautiful garden wall
We compost and gently turn the soil
And trust that LOVE grows on.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Growing Pains
The more I grow and learn, the more I notice patterns. Today one is really fresh for me. I have long feared that I would grow into something that my family would be unable to love. I suppose in some ways that has already happened at least once.
When I was in my early teens, my parents seemed a little bit akward around the church ladies who would come by and invite them to church. Sure, my parents bought me a bible and paid my way to church camp... it just wasn't their thing. They may have even been relieved when I dropped it at age 16. But then in my phase of deep existential exploration they seemed equally uneasy. I recall one time when I was about 19 and there was some big cult expose' in Texas. I was chatting with my mom about it on the phone and she was asking me odd questions. As if she had a brochure in hand entitled "10 Easy Ways to Tell if your Teen is Trapped in a Freaky Death Cult." I called her on it and she admitted that she was a little worried about me. I thought my response was pretty funny, "Come on mom, you should be more worried about me starting a cult than joining one!" She didn't find it humerous at all.
At some point I learned that my spirituality and my environmental philosophy were simply not to be discussed with my parents. I don't recall that they ever came right out and told me to omit these parts of my self, or whether it was just painfully obvious to me in other ways.
I played along out of respect, love, and a desire to keep the peace. But I was really challenged and felt broken. The problem is that if you try to be a whole person, but you can't be your whole self with certain people, there are walls created within yourself. Sure, I chose to build them... but after a while there were parts of my soul which felt like step children, or East Berliners.
It was not okay to be a witch. It was not okay to be radical or outspoken about anything. It was not okay to think deep thoughts or practice developing higher sense perception. And you gotta know that I was always very open and honest with my parents until that point. So the shift was painful. I didn't know who to be when I was with them, so I just didn't show up there any more; for several years.
It is clear to me that they love me deeply and that they didn't want to hear the things that amplified their worries. But as I drifted further away they worried even more. And I'm highly perceptive, when someone I love is worrying about me I can feel it across space and time.
Well, okay, so I can't be me with my parents. And I can't be my whole self at work. I've always tried to be my whole self with friends, but most of the time I was lucky if I could find one person with which I could be whole, for a few hours or on and off for a few months. And even that was iffy and problematic. I reckon that I'm not alone in this phenomenon. I reckon that there are other people who are perpetually veiwed as weirdos by EVERYONE they know...
And then I met my beloved, and for the first time in my life I could be my whole self. He didn't always agree with my views and theories, but he didn't write me off as crazy either. I really like the fact that we don't agree on everything, it makes for a much interesting conversation. To me the most important factor in falling in love with him was the fact that we could have really DEEP conversations and I could be WHOLE at last.
But I still carry this scar tissue around, this fear that I'll out-grow friends and loved ones. That people who love and understand me now will one day say, "Wow, she really has become a freakin weirdo!"
Because, from time to time, even my beloved gets freaked out by things I do, say, and experience. Every once in a while we pass through a phase where he is uncomfortable with who I am becoming. Conceptually we have discussed what I envision for myself. We've discussed it many times. But discussing abstract concepts of the future and then living through deep learning events are two totally different things.
I live as true to my heart as possible. I believe in a higher force and I have spent my life listening for that still small voice which points me in the right direction. I trust that voice because it has never been wrong. EVERYTHING which has occurred has been a gift.
Yet my dedication to this emerging path of mine creates fear in my beloved. And if I still spoke about it to my parents, it would create fear for them as well. My beloved has even recently asked me to not talk with him about certain things, or even with other people when he is in ear shot.
In love I pull out the bricks and begin to build a new wall
In fear I restrict that which seeks to grow through me
And something inside of me dies.
When I was in my early teens, my parents seemed a little bit akward around the church ladies who would come by and invite them to church. Sure, my parents bought me a bible and paid my way to church camp... it just wasn't their thing. They may have even been relieved when I dropped it at age 16. But then in my phase of deep existential exploration they seemed equally uneasy. I recall one time when I was about 19 and there was some big cult expose' in Texas. I was chatting with my mom about it on the phone and she was asking me odd questions. As if she had a brochure in hand entitled "10 Easy Ways to Tell if your Teen is Trapped in a Freaky Death Cult." I called her on it and she admitted that she was a little worried about me. I thought my response was pretty funny, "Come on mom, you should be more worried about me starting a cult than joining one!" She didn't find it humerous at all.
At some point I learned that my spirituality and my environmental philosophy were simply not to be discussed with my parents. I don't recall that they ever came right out and told me to omit these parts of my self, or whether it was just painfully obvious to me in other ways.
I played along out of respect, love, and a desire to keep the peace. But I was really challenged and felt broken. The problem is that if you try to be a whole person, but you can't be your whole self with certain people, there are walls created within yourself. Sure, I chose to build them... but after a while there were parts of my soul which felt like step children, or East Berliners.
It was not okay to be a witch. It was not okay to be radical or outspoken about anything. It was not okay to think deep thoughts or practice developing higher sense perception. And you gotta know that I was always very open and honest with my parents until that point. So the shift was painful. I didn't know who to be when I was with them, so I just didn't show up there any more; for several years.
It is clear to me that they love me deeply and that they didn't want to hear the things that amplified their worries. But as I drifted further away they worried even more. And I'm highly perceptive, when someone I love is worrying about me I can feel it across space and time.
Well, okay, so I can't be me with my parents. And I can't be my whole self at work. I've always tried to be my whole self with friends, but most of the time I was lucky if I could find one person with which I could be whole, for a few hours or on and off for a few months. And even that was iffy and problematic. I reckon that I'm not alone in this phenomenon. I reckon that there are other people who are perpetually veiwed as weirdos by EVERYONE they know...
And then I met my beloved, and for the first time in my life I could be my whole self. He didn't always agree with my views and theories, but he didn't write me off as crazy either. I really like the fact that we don't agree on everything, it makes for a much interesting conversation. To me the most important factor in falling in love with him was the fact that we could have really DEEP conversations and I could be WHOLE at last.
But I still carry this scar tissue around, this fear that I'll out-grow friends and loved ones. That people who love and understand me now will one day say, "Wow, she really has become a freakin weirdo!"
Because, from time to time, even my beloved gets freaked out by things I do, say, and experience. Every once in a while we pass through a phase where he is uncomfortable with who I am becoming. Conceptually we have discussed what I envision for myself. We've discussed it many times. But discussing abstract concepts of the future and then living through deep learning events are two totally different things.
I live as true to my heart as possible. I believe in a higher force and I have spent my life listening for that still small voice which points me in the right direction. I trust that voice because it has never been wrong. EVERYTHING which has occurred has been a gift.
Yet my dedication to this emerging path of mine creates fear in my beloved. And if I still spoke about it to my parents, it would create fear for them as well. My beloved has even recently asked me to not talk with him about certain things, or even with other people when he is in ear shot.
In love I pull out the bricks and begin to build a new wall
In fear I restrict that which seeks to grow through me
And something inside of me dies.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Change ~ Gentle or Chaotic?
Each one of us is narrating our lives by crafting stories to help our self understand what is occurring. Most of us believe our stories until something comes along that doesn't fit in with they way we've constructed our personal reality. In the current era, everything is changing at a dramatic and unprecedented rate. Everytime something in the world around you changes, it bumps up against your story.
Your story that spans your entire life. It includes information like your name, the places you've lived, the jobs you've had, the people you've loved, and the things you've learned. It also includes assessments you've made about your self over the years, as well as judgements others have made about you. For example, "I'm motivated and intelligent." or "I'm sloppy and lazy."
In this time of unprecedented change you have many choices. Perhaps the most important choice is whether or not you plan to learn and grow through these changes. If the answer is yes, the next important question is whether you want your changes to feel gentle or chaotic.
I've personally experimented with both throughout my life. In my experience, chaotic change usually has a much higher magnitude. Chaotic change can afford you to change dozens of things about your self all in one fell swoop. This type of change strikes me as very intense. In my younger years I actually enjoyed that intensity. I loved the quantum leap in consciousness which accompanied learning dozens of things about my self all at once. But there's a dark side too. It wasn't that I was always happily improving my self, like picking out new carpeting in a house that has decent flooring already. It is more like having the electricity turned on, looking around at the house and realizing that it's full of rats, mold, and the floor is rotting and falling through! Quite frankly it is both scary and depressing to notice dozens of things about your self that aren't as healthy as you'd like to believe.
Gentle change, on the other hand, is quite subtle and requires patience and perserverence. In gentle change you walk into that fixer-upper with a flash light, you pick one room of the house, and you notice and accept the fact that there are a few rats. Of course it is a much slower process, but it is not nearly as traumatic when you take each little aspect of your self one step at a time.
You always have a choice in how you approach your learning and growth. The trick is noticing that you have been making these choices your whole life! You have already sub-consciously chosen either gentle change or chaotic change, or some blend of both.
Putting off many life lessons over a long period of time is one way to choose chaotic change. By ignoring opportunities to gently edit your story, the queue of lessons can get mighty large and gang up on you all at once. There are some clues and cues to let you know whether you might be cruising toward a very chaotic and painful wake-up call:
Your story that spans your entire life. It includes information like your name, the places you've lived, the jobs you've had, the people you've loved, and the things you've learned. It also includes assessments you've made about your self over the years, as well as judgements others have made about you. For example, "I'm motivated and intelligent." or "I'm sloppy and lazy."
In this time of unprecedented change you have many choices. Perhaps the most important choice is whether or not you plan to learn and grow through these changes. If the answer is yes, the next important question is whether you want your changes to feel gentle or chaotic.
I've personally experimented with both throughout my life. In my experience, chaotic change usually has a much higher magnitude. Chaotic change can afford you to change dozens of things about your self all in one fell swoop. This type of change strikes me as very intense. In my younger years I actually enjoyed that intensity. I loved the quantum leap in consciousness which accompanied learning dozens of things about my self all at once. But there's a dark side too. It wasn't that I was always happily improving my self, like picking out new carpeting in a house that has decent flooring already. It is more like having the electricity turned on, looking around at the house and realizing that it's full of rats, mold, and the floor is rotting and falling through! Quite frankly it is both scary and depressing to notice dozens of things about your self that aren't as healthy as you'd like to believe.
Gentle change, on the other hand, is quite subtle and requires patience and perserverence. In gentle change you walk into that fixer-upper with a flash light, you pick one room of the house, and you notice and accept the fact that there are a few rats. Of course it is a much slower process, but it is not nearly as traumatic when you take each little aspect of your self one step at a time.
You always have a choice in how you approach your learning and growth. The trick is noticing that you have been making these choices your whole life! You have already sub-consciously chosen either gentle change or chaotic change, or some blend of both.
Putting off many life lessons over a long period of time is one way to choose chaotic change. By ignoring opportunities to gently edit your story, the queue of lessons can get mighty large and gang up on you all at once. There are some clues and cues to let you know whether you might be cruising toward a very chaotic and painful wake-up call:
- If something negative happens and you dive into a distraction (food, drinking, sex, games, drugs) rather than processing the emotion, you may be ignoring an opportunity to grow.
- If some corner of your mind is concerned or worried about any of your choices, habits, or routines, but you distract yourself and work hard to ignore it, you may be ignoring an opportunity to grow.
- If several people around you are giving you unpleasant feedback and you think they are all full of shit, you may be ignoring an opportunity to grow.
However, if you periodically stop and notice your emotions, and gently probe into the more unpleasant emotions, you will discover that there are little things about your story which could be edited that would produce entirely different results in your daily life.
I recently noticed that one of my daily activities was triggering a small amount of doubt in a corner of my mind and there was even some feedback coming in from a few other people who also shared this doubt about my choice. This morning while I was waking up I stopped to really consider this activity. I decided that while I really gained much good from this activity, there is no benefit to feeling doubt or experiencing others doubt. This morning I made a small edit to how I conduct that activity. I didn't have to nuke the activity, just shifted the components which were creating doubt. Now I feel much better and I may have even avoided manifesting some loud and painful lesson!
I hope you'll consider the story you are writing for your self each day. I hope you will understand that it is not the distraction or activity which is bad. Only our experience of a thing is good or bad. And doubt is a strong signal that some editing would produce an even better story.
In love and light, Tree
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Your Humble Servant
Tonight I signed a covennant. I am bound to give you whatsoever you might ask of me, with a few conditions.
- You actually ASK me for something.
- You consider it a NEED as opposed to a WANT. (You be the judge, not me).
- It is within my ability to say yes.
- It creates no harm. Especially no harm for myself, my family, or our home.
I am bound to do this for free. Yes, free. I will not count on any of these services for direct income. I'm already collaborating with a small group of trusted friends to create a non-profit organization so that if money shows up it will automatically be directed into something charitable. And besides, at the moment I am blessed with a great job and all of my family's needs are met.
I offer all sorts of things, many of which I have specialized training and experience, and some of which, quite frankly, I allow to flow through me on the spot and couldn't really claim to be the source of, and so trying to claim expertise would be akward at best. Here's a stream of consciousness list of a bunch of random stuff one might ask for, but feel free to make up your own request based on your NEED.
- Ritual/ceremony design
- Channeling
- Facilitating dialogue between you and your spirit guides/angels/deceased loved ones, etc.
- Facilitating dialogue (or even mediating) between and among friends, lovers, circles, groups, etc.
- A wide array of healing, including energy/faith healing
- Transition planning (birth, death, marriage, divorce, etc.)
- Helping you die
- Helping you recover
- Life coaching and guidance
- Transformative Hololeaps
- Soul Retrieval
- Past Life Regressions
- Shamanic Journey Work
- Magical/transformative collaborative performance art
- Process design
- Goal planning
- Manifestation: training, planning, and support while you're doing it over time
- Complexity mapping
- Biofeedback sessions
Also, I'm not interested in debating with you or convincing you of anything. I'm not selling anything and so I don't feel compelled to present you with a long list of credentials in this moment. I'm always willing to share this kind of information, but only in the spirit of collaborative exploration.
And here are some very important caveats:
You hold power over your self and the reality you create. I am a humble servant to love and light. Never, under any circumstances, surrender your power to me or anyone affiliated with this work. You are responsible and accountable for your intentions and requests. I am not the source of the love and light, I am merely a chalice on the shelf and you may reach for me any time you feel thirsty for that which might pour in to me - should the Gods wish it.
Your humble servant,
Mama Tree
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Guru, Teacher, or Servant?
In this time of unprecedented change there are countless beings offering up guidance and support. Every person frames their particular offerings differently. There are thousands upon thousands of gurus, teachers, priests, reverends, swamis, yoginis, authors, etc. I like to think that the reason for this flourishing path is that there is more love and light flooding the planet now than in a long time. As each of us learns and grows we reach that precious moment when our focus turns from personal growth and healing to the growth and healing of those around us.
In my book, The Transpiral Model for Social Change, I describe the relationship between personal transformation and social transformation. In brief, you can't change yourself without affecting change in your family, community, and society. And any changes occurring in your family, community, and society also affect change on you personally. We call that "circular causality".
Only you can judge whether or not someone is qualified to teach or guide you through some aspect of your growth and healing. Sai Maa Devi Lakshmi says that the grace of a guru can take you deeper. She explains that a guru holds the frequency of the 5th dimension and that by being in the guru's presence, the student can experience higher frequencies of being and knowing. As a student, only you can determine whether or not the guru produces this kind of tranformative effect on your awareness, both in the moment and over time.
Teachers generally have a set curriculum including models, tools, and practices which are designed for personal growth and healing. Teaching arrangements span from short term to long term and can be one on one or in group settings. Teachers don't appear to promise as much as a guru, but in some cases perhaps they deliver more. Again, only you can judge whether or not engaging with some teacher is going to deepen your natural ability for self healing and growth.
I've long considered these questions for myself. In some paths the Master is the only access point a student has with the divine. In other paths the student learns to speak with the divine for him/her self. Personally I've resonnated with the latter. Over the course of my path I've created relationships with guides and teachers who are on the other side. I call them by the name "The Council of Light". To me, they inlcude beings like the Archangels, Gaia, Jesus, Pan, and the Nature Spirits. The more I surrender my limited self view in order to share understanding with the Council, the more guidance I recieve. My relationship is collaborative and dialogic. I ever maintain free-will. I ask the Council for advice and guidance and then I choose whether to heed the advice or make a new choice.
It has been a very rich relationship over the past 3-4 years which has resulted in very deep healing for myself. While there will always be room to improve myself, of late I'm called to offer support for others who long for self-healing. In my professional career I'm a trainer, facilitator, and organizer of people into groups. When my focus turned from self to others I offered up all my skills and compassion to the Council of Light. The word I use to describe myself is not teacher or guru, or any of the afore mentioned titles. I am a SERVANT. I serve the Council of Light. I serve the emergence of love and light. And I serve anyone who is inviting love and light to emerge in their own lives. In an upcoming post I'll explain the kinds of services I've been called to offer. I'll also elaborate on how I've been guided to release the need to recieve monetary compensation for those services.
Humbly serving Love and Light, ~Tree
In my book, The Transpiral Model for Social Change, I describe the relationship between personal transformation and social transformation. In brief, you can't change yourself without affecting change in your family, community, and society. And any changes occurring in your family, community, and society also affect change on you personally. We call that "circular causality".
Only you can judge whether or not someone is qualified to teach or guide you through some aspect of your growth and healing. Sai Maa Devi Lakshmi says that the grace of a guru can take you deeper. She explains that a guru holds the frequency of the 5th dimension and that by being in the guru's presence, the student can experience higher frequencies of being and knowing. As a student, only you can determine whether or not the guru produces this kind of tranformative effect on your awareness, both in the moment and over time.
Teachers generally have a set curriculum including models, tools, and practices which are designed for personal growth and healing. Teaching arrangements span from short term to long term and can be one on one or in group settings. Teachers don't appear to promise as much as a guru, but in some cases perhaps they deliver more. Again, only you can judge whether or not engaging with some teacher is going to deepen your natural ability for self healing and growth.
I've long considered these questions for myself. In some paths the Master is the only access point a student has with the divine. In other paths the student learns to speak with the divine for him/her self. Personally I've resonnated with the latter. Over the course of my path I've created relationships with guides and teachers who are on the other side. I call them by the name "The Council of Light". To me, they inlcude beings like the Archangels, Gaia, Jesus, Pan, and the Nature Spirits. The more I surrender my limited self view in order to share understanding with the Council, the more guidance I recieve. My relationship is collaborative and dialogic. I ever maintain free-will. I ask the Council for advice and guidance and then I choose whether to heed the advice or make a new choice.
It has been a very rich relationship over the past 3-4 years which has resulted in very deep healing for myself. While there will always be room to improve myself, of late I'm called to offer support for others who long for self-healing. In my professional career I'm a trainer, facilitator, and organizer of people into groups. When my focus turned from self to others I offered up all my skills and compassion to the Council of Light. The word I use to describe myself is not teacher or guru, or any of the afore mentioned titles. I am a SERVANT. I serve the Council of Light. I serve the emergence of love and light. And I serve anyone who is inviting love and light to emerge in their own lives. In an upcoming post I'll explain the kinds of services I've been called to offer. I'll also elaborate on how I've been guided to release the need to recieve monetary compensation for those services.
Humbly serving Love and Light, ~Tree
Friday, January 1, 2010
Loosing My Religion
I lost my religion and my virginity in 1991 when I was 16. My parents were the sort of Christians who preferred camping and fishing to church. But I was very curious, so when I was 8 I began attending Emmanual Baptist Church in Blackwell, Oklahoma. I was a very devoted Christian with a deep sense of mission and purpose. When I turned 16 and chose to engage in an intimate relationship it sparked for me a spiritual crisis. Pre-marital sex was definitely a sin. It was the year that the band R.E.M. released the song Losing My Religion. The song moved me deeply. I performed an interpretive dance to the song at the state winterguard contest with a black flag and a black flowing dress.
In 1992 I was picked to join People to People Youth Science Exchange. We were to go to a major world environmental summit in Brazil. I diligently raised money so that I could go and experience the Amazon Rain Forest. Near the time to take the trip I was notified by the organization that it was too dangerous for a group of American teens to go to Brazil due to an increase of violent attacks against Americans in the region at that time. I was heartbroken, even though there was still promise of a rain forest experience as they replaced the plan with three weeks in Hawaii.
Upon arriving in Hawaii I was 17 years old and engaged to the young man with whom I'd been having that intimate relationship of which I spoke. I was beautiful and bright and very extroverted. There were three adult chaperones and approximately 20 young people from the US and Puerto Rico. Within a matter of a few days I found myself very attracted to a young man, but perhaps more importantly, very attracted to all the possibilities represented by a group of intelligent young people. Pretty soon I was deeply conflicted about the path I'd chosen. If I married the boy in my small home town I was certain that my path through life would be somehow limited and diminushed in comparison to the sense of expansive possibilities that these other kids were representing.
It was the only time in my life that I ever considered suicide. I would rather have died than to break his dear heart. Luckily I was clever enough to know that the bottle of ibuprophen in my suitcase would not be an effective out. The meds in my roomate's bag were equally useless. One day we were at a beautiful scenic overlook site. I think we were looking down on Oahu's North Shore, but I'm not certain. As I stood on the edge of the precipice I considered jumping. I felt deep energetic ebbs and swirls and felt as if part of myself did infact jump. I remember watching this imaginary self plummeting over the edge and slamming against rocks and ledges over several minutes. I could envision the black shadow which would be cast upon the day and the memory. I looked around and saw the families and the other kids from my group and I watched as their amazing Hawaiian experience turned into a horror.
And I couldn't do it. It would have been so damned selfish of me to kill myself like that. So I rushed back onto the bus and sat in the back and cried.
It was a most amazing three weeks. Each day was filled with activities designed to help us sink our teeth into science as well as the Hawaiian culture. It was the first time in my life that I noticed that there were religions other than Christianity. Somehow it had just never occurred to me that not everyone was Christian. But more importantly, I met the Goddess Pele. Both the scientific explorations of Hawaii and the cultural activities were centered around nature as the sacred feminine.
This made sense to me in such a deep way. It fit with what my parents had taught me before I chose to attend church. They had always said that we didn't need to go to church because God was everywhere and that when we were camping out every weekend we were celebrating God's creation.
When I was 16 I lost my religion. When I was 17 I found the Goddess. I devoted my life to the Earth Mother. But sixteen years after loosing Jesus I found him again. He was misplaced and burried under my anger at the history of Western Civilization. I have forgiven Him and the acts done in His name. Seventeen years after loosing my religion I have realized that Gaia is both the Mother of and Bride of Christ. That is why witchcraft and Christianity are no longer mutually exclusive to me.
The great divorce between Matriarchy and Patriarchy is being healed. In my heart Gaia and Jesus are developing quite the romance. And their romance is, to me, the most fundamental co-creative divine force in existence (at least in our corner of the universe).
All Hail the Newly Re-Wedded. All Hail the Bride in her green and blue gowns with white gauzy veil. All Hail the Groom whose light envelopes and impregnates the Bride. Their union is responsible for everything which exists on Earth. This is the Second Coming.
In 1992 I was picked to join People to People Youth Science Exchange. We were to go to a major world environmental summit in Brazil. I diligently raised money so that I could go and experience the Amazon Rain Forest. Near the time to take the trip I was notified by the organization that it was too dangerous for a group of American teens to go to Brazil due to an increase of violent attacks against Americans in the region at that time. I was heartbroken, even though there was still promise of a rain forest experience as they replaced the plan with three weeks in Hawaii.
Upon arriving in Hawaii I was 17 years old and engaged to the young man with whom I'd been having that intimate relationship of which I spoke. I was beautiful and bright and very extroverted. There were three adult chaperones and approximately 20 young people from the US and Puerto Rico. Within a matter of a few days I found myself very attracted to a young man, but perhaps more importantly, very attracted to all the possibilities represented by a group of intelligent young people. Pretty soon I was deeply conflicted about the path I'd chosen. If I married the boy in my small home town I was certain that my path through life would be somehow limited and diminushed in comparison to the sense of expansive possibilities that these other kids were representing.
It was the only time in my life that I ever considered suicide. I would rather have died than to break his dear heart. Luckily I was clever enough to know that the bottle of ibuprophen in my suitcase would not be an effective out. The meds in my roomate's bag were equally useless. One day we were at a beautiful scenic overlook site. I think we were looking down on Oahu's North Shore, but I'm not certain. As I stood on the edge of the precipice I considered jumping. I felt deep energetic ebbs and swirls and felt as if part of myself did infact jump. I remember watching this imaginary self plummeting over the edge and slamming against rocks and ledges over several minutes. I could envision the black shadow which would be cast upon the day and the memory. I looked around and saw the families and the other kids from my group and I watched as their amazing Hawaiian experience turned into a horror.
And I couldn't do it. It would have been so damned selfish of me to kill myself like that. So I rushed back onto the bus and sat in the back and cried.
It was a most amazing three weeks. Each day was filled with activities designed to help us sink our teeth into science as well as the Hawaiian culture. It was the first time in my life that I noticed that there were religions other than Christianity. Somehow it had just never occurred to me that not everyone was Christian. But more importantly, I met the Goddess Pele. Both the scientific explorations of Hawaii and the cultural activities were centered around nature as the sacred feminine.
This made sense to me in such a deep way. It fit with what my parents had taught me before I chose to attend church. They had always said that we didn't need to go to church because God was everywhere and that when we were camping out every weekend we were celebrating God's creation.
When I was 16 I lost my religion. When I was 17 I found the Goddess. I devoted my life to the Earth Mother. But sixteen years after loosing Jesus I found him again. He was misplaced and burried under my anger at the history of Western Civilization. I have forgiven Him and the acts done in His name. Seventeen years after loosing my religion I have realized that Gaia is both the Mother of and Bride of Christ. That is why witchcraft and Christianity are no longer mutually exclusive to me.
The great divorce between Matriarchy and Patriarchy is being healed. In my heart Gaia and Jesus are developing quite the romance. And their romance is, to me, the most fundamental co-creative divine force in existence (at least in our corner of the universe).
All Hail the Newly Re-Wedded. All Hail the Bride in her green and blue gowns with white gauzy veil. All Hail the Groom whose light envelopes and impregnates the Bride. Their union is responsible for everything which exists on Earth. This is the Second Coming.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Dialogue Circle Basics
Beginning on January 12, 2010; Gaia Rising will host monthly dialogue circles on the second Tuesday of every month. The conference line will allow up to 96 separate callers and even with half that many we must all be aware of some guidelines and ground rules in order to keep the process as smooth and fluid as possible.
Ground Rules and Pointers
Ground Rules and Pointers
- Join the call a few minutes early so that we can begin promptly.
- Call in from a phone which has mute capability, if at all possible, and keep yourself muted except when it is your turn to speak.
- Bring a pencil and paper so that you can keep track of when it will be your turn to speak.
- Honor all beliefs and values and speak only in love and trust. Seek not to prove or disprove, seek only to hear and be heard.
- Only speak when it is your turn. Be patient and trust that you will be heard when the time is right.
- With the exception of the 2 minute check-in at the beginning of each call, take as much time as you need to say what you need to say, but also be mindful of others and as concise as possible.
The Process For Our Dialogue Circle:
- Tree will begin by asking for first names which begin with the letter A, B, and so on. When your letter is called speak only your first name (or nick-name, it's your preference).
- After gathering all the names Tree will read back the alphabetized list in order to establish the seating arrangement for the virtual circle. Please write down the several names before yours so that you'll be aware of when it is about to be your turn to speak.
- Tree will then make opening remarks and the first trip around the circle will begin.
- The first round is a 2 minute check-in. During your 2 minutes we'd like you to share your name, your geographic location, how you are feeling (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically), and whether you enter the circle in the spirit of RELEASE, ACCEPTANCE, or INVITATION. You may take less than 2 minutes, but please do not pass on this round.
- When the last person has checked in, Tree will pose a question for the next round. Everyone will have the opportunity to either speak or pass.
- Depending on how many participants are present, there may only be one round before check-outs.
- Each participant will have up to 2 minutes to check out by sharing their name and any brief sentiment they choose to share.
Watch for subsequent blog posts which will offer additional information about the theory and practice of dialogue.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Fear
Is fear a gift or a curse? Or some of both?
More and more I see everything in the world like an electrical system... everything and everyone and every action is either positive, negative, or neutral. And let me clarify, negative does not equal bad or evil. I think of it in mathematical terms, 0 is the middle and +1 means movement in one direction and -1 means movement in another direction.
Today I notice I'm feeling afraid. I've worked through many kinds of fear in the past and found that fear can be a huge gift. Fear can be the guardian at the gate of the most sacred temple. Fear can be the building energy on the way to a major break through. Fear can even be a sacred rhythm, providing me with timing to ensure that I don't move too quickly.
Or fear can be debilitating. Fear can drive us to violence, control, and hatred. I believe that every war the planet has seen has its roots in "fear of the other". When we are not elevated enough to understand that we are all connected, we feel disconnected. When we're disconnected our emotions can run away with us. When we are not conscious of our unity, we notice that something is missing. We interpret this sense of lacking as fear that we will not have enough food, shelter, love, etc. This fear justifies competition and conflict and enables our "survival of the fittest" drive.
Thankfully today I've also had some insight about my present fear. I feel like I've been honored with the opportunity to serve Gaia (God, The Great Spirit, the Universe, Love, or whatever name you're most comfortable with) but I fear that I cannot do it alone. Even as I become able to name it I realize that I'm most certainly not alone. And so, I can now accept this fear as the gift of being guided to ask for help. I am blessed with many friends and a wonderful family. As I ask for help the fear dissipates. How blessed are we to have fear as a guide!
More and more I see everything in the world like an electrical system... everything and everyone and every action is either positive, negative, or neutral. And let me clarify, negative does not equal bad or evil. I think of it in mathematical terms, 0 is the middle and +1 means movement in one direction and -1 means movement in another direction.
Today I notice I'm feeling afraid. I've worked through many kinds of fear in the past and found that fear can be a huge gift. Fear can be the guardian at the gate of the most sacred temple. Fear can be the building energy on the way to a major break through. Fear can even be a sacred rhythm, providing me with timing to ensure that I don't move too quickly.
Or fear can be debilitating. Fear can drive us to violence, control, and hatred. I believe that every war the planet has seen has its roots in "fear of the other". When we are not elevated enough to understand that we are all connected, we feel disconnected. When we're disconnected our emotions can run away with us. When we are not conscious of our unity, we notice that something is missing. We interpret this sense of lacking as fear that we will not have enough food, shelter, love, etc. This fear justifies competition and conflict and enables our "survival of the fittest" drive.
Thankfully today I've also had some insight about my present fear. I feel like I've been honored with the opportunity to serve Gaia (God, The Great Spirit, the Universe, Love, or whatever name you're most comfortable with) but I fear that I cannot do it alone. Even as I become able to name it I realize that I'm most certainly not alone. And so, I can now accept this fear as the gift of being guided to ask for help. I am blessed with many friends and a wonderful family. As I ask for help the fear dissipates. How blessed are we to have fear as a guide!
Monday, December 14, 2009
At the Precipice of Apotheosis
It is quite natural to desire to be The Chosen One. The Hero's Quest is an archetypal mythogem which we all carry. Trinity wasn't better than Neo simply because she awoke from the dream sooner. Nor was he the only chosen one... Trinity's relationship to Neo was predicted by the Oracle as well. (The Matrix Trilogy).
The rhythmic tides of history and legend swell around the story of the One. Buddha, Noah, Confuscious, Jesus, Gandhi, Mandela, Columbus, Napoleon, Sitting Bull, King Arthur...
It is as if these men were a type of singular catalyst, and by activating their own deepest levels of mastery they were able to somehow propel all of humanity to the next level. It was a supreme service, and in many cases, a personal sacrifice ending in assassination.
We are approaching a gateway, which many would term The Second Coming. Of course the most common connotation of that phrase is the return of Jesus Christ, our lord and saviour. As well as the beginning of the Rapture, which is supposed to be a fairly scary ordeal followed by 10,000 years of peace.
For many years I've compared and contrasted religious doctrine, creation myths, and prophecies. The reason I consider myself interfaith is because I've found truth, beauty, and love in every one of these stories. As I watch the patterns and dynamics of the present world, and allow these similarities to simmer and bubble up I can't help but hold each story very gently and consider the ever deeper mysteries of the universe. But, as long as I am a physical/material being I can never grasp the entire truth of creation.
What if The Second Coming is the dawning of consciousness at a whole new order? What if instead of God sending Jesus back in the flesh, He is guiding us each to realize our own Christ light? What if each one of us is THE CHOSEN ONE?
When I look around I see more consciousness than ever before. Humanity is at a height of consciousness like never before experienced on the planet. There are countless teachers and gurus, thousands of weekend retreats and transformative processes, and millions of books all geared around this Rising. The personal and the planetary are transforming at an ever increasing rate.
Jesus was born of a woman, a mere human, who through radical love and self sacrifice achieved God status. He did it to show us what was possible. That is apotheosis. Jesus wanted us to love each other. It is up to YOU to decide whether you are at the edge of your own apotheosis, your own enlightenment. And if you are secretly dreaming that you are The Chosen One... then that is a sign that you have the power within your heart to unlock the seven gates and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You ARE chosen. And if you answer the call we can rise up together.
The rhythmic tides of history and legend swell around the story of the One. Buddha, Noah, Confuscious, Jesus, Gandhi, Mandela, Columbus, Napoleon, Sitting Bull, King Arthur...
It is as if these men were a type of singular catalyst, and by activating their own deepest levels of mastery they were able to somehow propel all of humanity to the next level. It was a supreme service, and in many cases, a personal sacrifice ending in assassination.
We are approaching a gateway, which many would term The Second Coming. Of course the most common connotation of that phrase is the return of Jesus Christ, our lord and saviour. As well as the beginning of the Rapture, which is supposed to be a fairly scary ordeal followed by 10,000 years of peace.
For many years I've compared and contrasted religious doctrine, creation myths, and prophecies. The reason I consider myself interfaith is because I've found truth, beauty, and love in every one of these stories. As I watch the patterns and dynamics of the present world, and allow these similarities to simmer and bubble up I can't help but hold each story very gently and consider the ever deeper mysteries of the universe. But, as long as I am a physical/material being I can never grasp the entire truth of creation.
What if The Second Coming is the dawning of consciousness at a whole new order? What if instead of God sending Jesus back in the flesh, He is guiding us each to realize our own Christ light? What if each one of us is THE CHOSEN ONE?
When I look around I see more consciousness than ever before. Humanity is at a height of consciousness like never before experienced on the planet. There are countless teachers and gurus, thousands of weekend retreats and transformative processes, and millions of books all geared around this Rising. The personal and the planetary are transforming at an ever increasing rate.
Jesus was born of a woman, a mere human, who through radical love and self sacrifice achieved God status. He did it to show us what was possible. That is apotheosis. Jesus wanted us to love each other. It is up to YOU to decide whether you are at the edge of your own apotheosis, your own enlightenment. And if you are secretly dreaming that you are The Chosen One... then that is a sign that you have the power within your heart to unlock the seven gates and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You ARE chosen. And if you answer the call we can rise up together.
Gaia Rising!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Opening Prayer for The Self Healing Journey Series
"Love is the face and body of the Universe. It is the connective tissue of the universe, the stuff of which we are made. Love s the experience of being whole and connected to Universal Divinity.
All suffering is caused by the illusion of separateness, which generates fear and self-hatred, which eventually causes illness.
You are the master of your life. You can do much more than you thought you could, including cure yourself of a 'terminal illness'. The only real 'terminal illness' is simply being human. And being human is not 'terminal' at all because death is simply transition to another level of being.
I want to encourage you to step out of the normal bounds of your life and to begin seeing yourself differently. I want to encourage you to live your life at the cutting edge of time, allowing yourself to be born into a new life every minute.
I want to encourage you to allow your life experience to be lightly dusted with form."
--Barbara Ann Brennan
All suffering is caused by the illusion of separateness, which generates fear and self-hatred, which eventually causes illness.
You are the master of your life. You can do much more than you thought you could, including cure yourself of a 'terminal illness'. The only real 'terminal illness' is simply being human. And being human is not 'terminal' at all because death is simply transition to another level of being.
I want to encourage you to step out of the normal bounds of your life and to begin seeing yourself differently. I want to encourage you to live your life at the cutting edge of time, allowing yourself to be born into a new life every minute.
I want to encourage you to allow your life experience to be lightly dusted with form."
--Barbara Ann Brennan
Monday, September 21, 2009
International Peace Day
Today is International Peace Day. In honor of the event I invite you to consider peace and what it means to you. Do you think of inner peace? Do you think of the end of war? Do you think of happy and whole children surrounded by healthy balanced adults?
Peace may exist on many levels. I challenge you to examine your perceptions of world peace. Do you think it is possible that we could live 1000 years with no war, terrorists, or heavily armed conflicts? If you don't think it is possible, what stands in the way? Can you list all the changes which would be needed to end war? And are those changes possible? Do any of those needed changes belong to you?
We cannot change the world, we may only change our own SELF. Here are a list of some of the attributes of someone who embraces and creates peace on every level.
Peace may exist on many levels. I challenge you to examine your perceptions of world peace. Do you think it is possible that we could live 1000 years with no war, terrorists, or heavily armed conflicts? If you don't think it is possible, what stands in the way? Can you list all the changes which would be needed to end war? And are those changes possible? Do any of those needed changes belong to you?
We cannot change the world, we may only change our own SELF. Here are a list of some of the attributes of someone who embraces and creates peace on every level.
- In every moment, in every way, choose love over fear.
- View all individuals, nations, and organizations with trust and respect.
- Be honest, authentic,and transparent in all that you do.
- Take time to balance and de-stress your body on a regular basis.
- Be the change you want to see in the world.
- Never fear for lack of abundance.
- Never deny a human who asks you for help, food, shelter, clothing.
- Notice how you spend your time, money, energy, and attention. Be intentional and strategic.
What would you add to this list? And to which of these items are you most resistant? The one which seems the most impossible to you is probably a great place for you to direct your attention for an hour.
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